
The technique of "feeding the demons" in Buddhism - a surprising path to self-compassion and inner freedom
A couple of years ago, I was sitting on my meditation cushion and felt like I was wrestling with my mind rather than communicating with it with a sense of peace.
My thoughts were all over the place, filled with doubts, fears and unresolved emotions that I would rather ignore. I wondered: shouldn't meditation calm me down?
Then, by chance, I came across a technique of Tibetan Buddhism called "feeding the demons," popularized by Lama Tsultrim Allione.
Despite the somewhat intimidating name, it is not about summoning scary beings, but about turning to our most disturbing emotions and experiences - the"demons" within us- and transforming them.
This practice has not only changed my perspective on fear and anxiety, it has also opened me up to a kinder and more compassionate way of treating myself and others.
What is "Feeding the Demons" anyway?
In Tibetan Buddhism, there is an ancient practice known as chöd, whose originator is the 11th-century yogi Machig Labdrön. Lama Tsultrim Allione adapted this centuries-old ritual into a method more accessible to modern practitioners.
The basic premise: Instead of running away from our inner conflicts - from anger, envy, shame, or any intrusive self-doubt - we invite these "demons" into our consciousness, give them a clear form or personality, and then "feed" them what they really need.
This feeding is not literal food, but an energetic substance that we visualize and offer.
In this way, we become aware of our deepest needs, disarm our fear-based reactions, and release the energy that was previously trapped in resistance or avoidance.
How can this technique actually help us?
- It brings compassion to ourselves. When you feed your demons, you are actually attending to the neglected parts of yourself. You stop pushing them away and instead give them warmth and care. This fosters a deep sense of kindness towards yourself.
- It's emotionally freeing. Confronting painful emotions or negative habits can bring a cathartic release. What was once held in a bottle is now given space to be seen and resolved.
- It balances internally. Once we feed these inner "demons" they often turn into allies. The energy we have spent suppressing them is released, allowing us to feel lighter and more balanced.
- It improves relationships. Old patterns - such as defensiveness or anger - are often born out of unmet needs. When we recognize and feed these parts of ourselves, we show more compassion and peace in our relationships.
- Causes greater insight. Exercise can reveal deep-seated beliefs and blind spots that influence our behavior. With awareness comes the opportunity for change and growth.
Examples from life
Anxiety at work
My friend Jana always felt paralyzed with anxiety when she had a big presentation coming up. When she named her anxiety demon - imagining it as a nervous creature moving around - and asked, "What do you need?", she found she wanted reassurance and a sense of control. She visualized offering him a reassuring light that symbolized security and confidence in her abilities. Over time, the grip of her anxiety loosened. She still prepared thoroughly for her presentations, but the paralyzing fear was replaced by a grounded, calm readiness.
Overcoming self-condemnation
My own personal "demon" of self-criticism appeared whenever I tried something new - like taking a challenging yoga pose. I heard the voice: "You'll never get it right." And I'd say to myself, "I'll never be able to do this." In the Feeding the Demons practice, I gave my inner critic a physical form (an armored giant), asked him what he needed (acceptance and patience), and imagined offering him glowing golden nectar representing unconditional acceptance. Over time, the giant softened and my self-talk changed.
Healing Conflict in Relationships
Tom struggled with constant frustration with his partner. Instead of arguing over minor incidents, he named his demon Angry Tom. When "Angry Tom" asked for food, his response was respect and affirmation. When Tom visualized giving this demon respect in the form of warm, gentle energy, he realized that underlying his anger was a deep desire to feel heard. This realization helped him communicate his needs more calmly, which ultimately improved the dynamics of his relationship with his partner.
And how to actually implement such "feeding the demons"?
1.Identify the demon...
- First, notice the emotion or conflict. Is it anxiety, jealousy, shame or something else? Try to isolate and name the feeling.
- It may be a specific situation - fear of public speaking, for example - or a recurring pattern, such as self-criticism.
2. Personify it!
- Close your eyes and imagine what this demon might look like if it had a physical form. Be as descriptive as possible. Is it big or small? Does it have a shape or color?
- Listen quietly to what it might be trying to say or express.
3. Ask him a question...
- Silently ask your demon, "What do you need from me? What satisfies you?"
- The demon may want approval, security, or love. Don't overthink it - go with your intuition.
4. Feed it!
- Visualize offering your demon a substance or light that symbolizes exactly what it is asking for. For example, if it needs comfort, imagine a bright nectar representing compassion.
- Give it generously and without judgment until it is fully satisfied.
5. Observe the transformation...
- Notice if the demon changes shape, color, or behavior. Does it shrink, soften, or disappear entirely?
- This transformation signifies a shift within you - an integration of what was once pushed away.
6. Rest and think...
- After feeding, stay still for a few minutes.
- Notice the sensations in your body, the quality of your breath, and any new insights or emotions.
Points to pay attention to...
Be gentle! If your demon is associated with a traumatic experience, approach this practice with caution. You may want the support of a mental health professional or qualified spiritual teacher.
Don't judge! Compassion is the key, not confrontation. You are not fighting your demons; you are learning from them and transforming them by giving them what they need.
Be consistent! Like most spiritual practices, "feeding the demons" benefits from regular and gentle repetition. Try it consistently - once a week or whenever a strong emotional pattern emerges.
Be patient with yourself! Deeply ingrained patterns don't change overnight. Trust that each feeding will change something, even if only slightly.
Integration. Integrate your learnings after each session. Write a journal about them, share them with a supportive friend, or apply them in small ways to your daily life.
My reflections and benefits
Each time I have used the "Feeding the Demons" technique, two things have surprised me:
- How quickly can my resistance dissolve, once I consciously invite my difficult emotions to the table?
- How deeply healing and empowering does it feel to offer warmth to the very parts of myself that I had previously tried to banish?
The biggest insight is that our so-called "demons" are often misunderstood allies.
Once you give them what they really want - whether it's love, approval, or security - you reclaim personal power that has been locked behind fear or avoidance.
Think of it as recycling negative energy into positive fuel.
You are no longer a victim of your own anger, shame, or anxiety; you become a compassionate steward of these energies, wisely managing them instead of being controlled by them.
A few words in conclusion...
Incorporating the "Feeding the Demons" exercise into your yoga or meditation practice can bring a profound sense of freedom and self-knowledge. At first, it may seem strange to imagine "feeding" something you'd rather ignore - but that's exactly why it works. It breaks the pattern of avoidance and encourages you to adopt an attitude of unwavering kindness towards yourself.
If you feel drawn to explore this further, consider reading the work of Lama Tsultrim Allione or seek out a teacher trained in the practice of chöd. This technique is seemingly simple, yet remarkably effective. It has certainly helped me - and many others - to transform inner voices and difficult emotions from villains to helpers on the path to self-realization.
So the next time you're feeling stuck, stressed, or down, maybe it's time to feed your demons.
In the realm of spiritual growth, often the greatest transformations happen when we dare to look within, face our shadows, and nourish them back into the light.
Are you familiar with this interesting technique? Have I piqued your curiosity? Would you like to try it and observe the results?
Let me know your impressions in the comment section...